Whelp, it has finally happened. The day I’ve dreaded, yet known was inevitable for the past 3 years: My male coworker SHARTED in his pants.
I felt kinda bad for the guy. It just happened out of nowhere. There were no warning signs. He was just sitting there at the afternoon meeting taking notes and minding his own business, then BAM….he messed himself.
The fact that he got about 6″ air off his seat when the implosion occurred made it sort of impossible to deny the source of the raw sewage stench that followed. Needless to say he was quite embarrassed, especially when everyone was running from the meeting room, gasping for air and gagging.
Now, I must explain in further detail as to the reason I only feel “kinda” bad…This guy has a few medical issues and has been advised by his Dr. on what foods that he is should and shouldn’t consume. Well, I’m pretty sure that two big macs and a large fry is not on the list of foods he should be consuming. But hey, what do I know? I’m no doctor?!?
Regardless, everyday at lunch this poor chap swings on through the drive thru of a different fast food joint only to suffer self inflicted bouts of diarrhea in the afternoon. Like, what do you expect dude??? That and he has played the same f’n Katy Perry song on repeat since 9:30am! I guess karma really does exist….my hats to you Karma, touche!